Original Fanfiction University of Middle-earth
The Very Secret Diaries
The Cursed Queen of Angmar
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Lord of the Rings Fanfiction
Reading fanfiction is worse than porn. (Well, some fanfiction practically is porn, but that's another story.) It's addictive, I tell you! During those dreaded middle/high school years I volunteered for the Middle-earth Fanfiction Awards, spending hours on the computer a day. It wasn't until my dirty habit created a rift between my father and me that I realized I might have a problem, and set it aside. Seven years later, I think I can handle their power. Here are some stories I remember enjoying. I'll add more to the list as I continue exploring:
Friday, November 14, 2008
Briana’s Quest to Read Persephone’s Quest
R. Gordon Wasson, an American who dabbled in banking and research but wasn’t proficient in any particular profession, became interested in ethnomycology on his honeymoon with Valentina Pavlovna, a Russian physician. The two were very affectionate towards each other, but had a fight just days after the wedding. Pavlovna found a ring of mushrooms, and ecstatically started harvesting them. Wasson, on the other hand, thought his wife had turned mad. He refused to eat the mushroom soup she prepared that night, and exchanged some harsh words. A few days later, when Wasson realized that his spouse was still alive, he wondered why his country taught him to fear mushrooms, while hers revered them. It was the beginning of forty years of study. Wasson worked (and smoked, I suspect) with chaps like Hoffman and Schultez, relearning lost secrets of the immense power of mushrooms.
After their slightly troubled honeymoon, Wasson and Pavlovna went to Mexico. There, they studied how indigenous people used the phyla mycota. They filmed Maria Sabina perform a velama, the first shamanic ritual ever known to be recorded. They also spoke with Aurelio Carreras, another shaman from Oaxaca. He received a vision of Wasson’s son in New York under great turmoil. Carreras could see the future, and warned that one of his family members would die within a year.
Wasson and his colleagues’ attitude was “kindly condescension.” They were professional, high-class men, and didn’t think much of fortune telling. Soon, however, they noticed how often the villagers came to the shaman for guidance. People came when a child was missing, or when someone stole their money. Somehow Carreras could see who was where and what they had done. As guessed, Wasson’s son was under stress in New York even though he was supposed to be in Boston. His second cousin passed away a few months later. There were more predictions, and even intellectual snobs like Wasson had to admit that the accuracy was uncanny.
Surprisingly, Wasson’s work in Mexico didn’t turn many heads. He and his collaborators did their best to minimize their repot on the prophetic angle of mushrooms, so people didn’t pay much attention. His next study, however, upset many religious followers.
Soma, like the “bread” in the Bible, is a metaphor for food in the Rig Veda. Wasson thought it was more than that, though. He thought soma was literally, not just symbolically, actual food. More specifically, he though it was (what else?) a mushroom. Amanita muscaria is a plant that grows all over the world. Not only did it influence the Hindu religion, it also shaped the Nahua, Algonkians, Paleosiberian, Ob Ugrian, Finnic, Lapps, Nivkhi, Samoyed, and perhaps more cultures we haven’t studied yet. He even claims that it was the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil!
Proving this would be rather difficult. In fact, I didn’t read any evidence in Persephone’s Quest that soma is the same thing as Amanita muscaria, not to mention the cause of humanity’s fall from Eden. Still, Wasson provides an interesting theory for why cows are considered sacred. Stropharia cubensis is a less powerful but still hypnotic mushroom that grows directly in cow manure. He reasons that the Santal and Ho might have thought that the animals gave birth to the mushroom, and thus praised them for it.
Wasson irritated even more people by declaring that Ancient Greeks religiously ingested ergot, the natural form of LSD. Before cultivated wine took over with its representative Dionysus, philosophers like Socrates were more than likely Eluesians. This religion, (or cult, depending on your definition,) had two rites of passage: the Lesser Mystery and the Greater Mystery. Wasson contacted my favorite chemist Mr. Albert Hoffman, and asked if Ancient Greeks had the ability to cultivate ergot. A few years later, Hoffman replied ‘yes.’ Wasson thinks that the Lesser Mystery was a pretty potent fungus, and the Greater Mystery was really potent ergot. Did Plato imagine the realm of ideas while under the influence of ‘shrooms? Quite possibly.
Wasson wouldn’t appreciate my lack of respect. He got upset when “the Timothy Learys and their ilk” classified mushrooms with words like ‘hallucinogen’ and ‘psychedelic.’ These terms, he felt, didn’t convey their sacredness. He’d rather call them ‘Mystery,’ but that phrase is so commonly used now, (“misused,” according to Wasson,) that it would be impractical. Entheogen, which loosely means ‘god generated within’, comes pretty close to describing their influence, so he tolerated it.
Wasson contributed a lot to ethnobotany, but that doesn’t stop me from not liking him. His book describes cultures from around the world, and yet every paragraph manages to be about himself. He blabs on and on about famous people he knows, respectfully referring to them as ‘doctor’ or ‘professor’, but barely mentions the shamans and indigenous tribes he’s studied. You’d think that it’d be hard to make drugs and orgies boring, but he succeeds admirably.
Another issue is the lack of proof. It’s all very speculative, with no hard evidence.
Despite this, Wasson has some intriguing theories on how plants have shaped human beliefs. Does that make religion less valid? I don’t think so. We’re so accustomed to imagining ourselves as the only creatures made in God’s image; the concept of plants having divine wisdom is intimidating. Personally, I think there are different stages of consciousness, and ingesting certain mushrooms might open our minds to them. However, I also believe that there are higher levels than the brain, and no amount of alkaloids or amines will ever take us there.
After their slightly troubled honeymoon, Wasson and Pavlovna went to Mexico. There, they studied how indigenous people used the phyla mycota. They filmed Maria Sabina perform a velama, the first shamanic ritual ever known to be recorded. They also spoke with Aurelio Carreras, another shaman from Oaxaca. He received a vision of Wasson’s son in New York under great turmoil. Carreras could see the future, and warned that one of his family members would die within a year.
Wasson and his colleagues’ attitude was “kindly condescension.” They were professional, high-class men, and didn’t think much of fortune telling. Soon, however, they noticed how often the villagers came to the shaman for guidance. People came when a child was missing, or when someone stole their money. Somehow Carreras could see who was where and what they had done. As guessed, Wasson’s son was under stress in New York even though he was supposed to be in Boston. His second cousin passed away a few months later. There were more predictions, and even intellectual snobs like Wasson had to admit that the accuracy was uncanny.
Surprisingly, Wasson’s work in Mexico didn’t turn many heads. He and his collaborators did their best to minimize their repot on the prophetic angle of mushrooms, so people didn’t pay much attention. His next study, however, upset many religious followers.
Soma, like the “bread” in the Bible, is a metaphor for food in the Rig Veda. Wasson thought it was more than that, though. He thought soma was literally, not just symbolically, actual food. More specifically, he though it was (what else?) a mushroom. Amanita muscaria is a plant that grows all over the world. Not only did it influence the Hindu religion, it also shaped the Nahua, Algonkians, Paleosiberian, Ob Ugrian, Finnic, Lapps, Nivkhi, Samoyed, and perhaps more cultures we haven’t studied yet. He even claims that it was the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil!
Proving this would be rather difficult. In fact, I didn’t read any evidence in Persephone’s Quest that soma is the same thing as Amanita muscaria, not to mention the cause of humanity’s fall from Eden. Still, Wasson provides an interesting theory for why cows are considered sacred. Stropharia cubensis is a less powerful but still hypnotic mushroom that grows directly in cow manure. He reasons that the Santal and Ho might have thought that the animals gave birth to the mushroom, and thus praised them for it.
Wasson irritated even more people by declaring that Ancient Greeks religiously ingested ergot, the natural form of LSD. Before cultivated wine took over with its representative Dionysus, philosophers like Socrates were more than likely Eluesians. This religion, (or cult, depending on your definition,) had two rites of passage: the Lesser Mystery and the Greater Mystery. Wasson contacted my favorite chemist Mr. Albert Hoffman, and asked if Ancient Greeks had the ability to cultivate ergot. A few years later, Hoffman replied ‘yes.’ Wasson thinks that the Lesser Mystery was a pretty potent fungus, and the Greater Mystery was really potent ergot. Did Plato imagine the realm of ideas while under the influence of ‘shrooms? Quite possibly.
Wasson wouldn’t appreciate my lack of respect. He got upset when “the Timothy Learys and their ilk” classified mushrooms with words like ‘hallucinogen’ and ‘psychedelic.’ These terms, he felt, didn’t convey their sacredness. He’d rather call them ‘Mystery,’ but that phrase is so commonly used now, (“misused,” according to Wasson,) that it would be impractical. Entheogen, which loosely means ‘god generated within’, comes pretty close to describing their influence, so he tolerated it.
Wasson contributed a lot to ethnobotany, but that doesn’t stop me from not liking him. His book describes cultures from around the world, and yet every paragraph manages to be about himself. He blabs on and on about famous people he knows, respectfully referring to them as ‘doctor’ or ‘professor’, but barely mentions the shamans and indigenous tribes he’s studied. You’d think that it’d be hard to make drugs and orgies boring, but he succeeds admirably.
Another issue is the lack of proof. It’s all very speculative, with no hard evidence.
Despite this, Wasson has some intriguing theories on how plants have shaped human beliefs. Does that make religion less valid? I don’t think so. We’re so accustomed to imagining ourselves as the only creatures made in God’s image; the concept of plants having divine wisdom is intimidating. Personally, I think there are different stages of consciousness, and ingesting certain mushrooms might open our minds to them. However, I also believe that there are higher levels than the brain, and no amount of alkaloids or amines will ever take us there.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is [Not] Wrong
I found this on Myspace, and it was too hysterical (and true) to not share. Not that anyone reads my blog, but still.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed;the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed;the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
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