[NOTE: This is the essay I wrote for my application to GEM. Wish me luck!]
It’s been a year since I first applied to GEM. In that time, I’ve waxed and waned more often than the moon. I’ve visited three countries, (Thailand, Laos, and accidently Myanmar,) tore off and re-shingled five roofs, (waking up at 4:30 in the morning every morning,) and gained a little bit of wisdom.
I’ll be honest. The thought of spending an unproductive summer stuck in Wisconsin was horrifying. I mentioned in my previous essay how much I enjoy helping others. What I didn’t mention was how I felt obligated to help them.
Like most people, I have a slight case of low self-esteem. Helping others relieves the burn of inadequacy. In my eyes, I’ve never been smart enough, funny enough, or pretty enough. Altruistic acts of kindness may be selfless in vervet monkeys and spiders, but not me. My desperate attempt to be a better person was just one of the many ways I combated depression.
I say “was” as if it’s all in the past. ‘Does that mean you aren’t interested in joining GEM anymore?’ you might ask. ‘Then why did you fill out an application?’ To relieve your doubtless confusion, I will point out again three of the most important things I achieved this past year: seeing new places, working my skeletal muscles, and developing gray matter.
Joining the Thailand Project was undoubtedly one of the most eye-opening journeys I’ve ever experienced. There was a lot of ugliness- abandoned children, starving immigrants, corrupt government- but even more beauty. The joy that Thai men, women, and children exude is astounding. They’re the poorest people I’ve met, but also the happiest. And their generosity! It’s the culture, not some stupid lack of self-worth, that makes them so giving. The people I met didn’t have an insane ‘To Do’ list like I have. They didn’t feel the need to have a 3.9 GPA or join the Peace Corps. They were happy simply to be alive.
This inspired me. It suddenly occurred to me how absurd my desire to help everyone was. Yes, there’s pain and suffering in the world, but it’ll always be there. I let my own petty wishes add to the pit of darkness. For the first time I was content with what I was doing. There was nowhere else I wanted to be, nothing else I needed to do. I was me, and that was okay.
My newfound contentment followed me back to the States. Learning about xylem and Rigoberta Menchu in Stevens Point was exactly where I was meant to be. It dawned on me how many friends I have. They don’t care if I give a million dollars to charity. In fact, they’d probably be disappointed that I didn’t give it to them. They like me, Eru knows why, for who I am. I am smart enough. I am funny enough. Who on earth cares what I look like? My body is a smooth-running machine, and I should be grateful just for that.
This sounds silly, but I was worried that satisfaction would turn me into a slacker. My friend Alex is a bright, wonderful human being who doesn’t feel the need to accomplish, well… anything. He’s a manager at Burger King in Ashland. I both hate and admire his carelessness.
“You’re capable of so much more!” I screech at him.
“So?”
My grandmother hisses the word ‘content’ like it’s a swearword.
“Eugene is content being a bum!” she spits at her cat Charnu and me. “He doesn’t have a real job!”
A lifetime’s worth of “DON’T end up like your father!” is bound to rub off somehow. I do my best to avoid his mistakes, but catch myself behaving in a disturbingly similar fashion. My ‘To Do’ list has diminished to ‘It Would Be Really Nice If…’ I still want to do what I can to protect the environment, which is why I’m majoring in resource management. Traveling continues to be fun, so I reapplied to GEM.
Of course, being an ambassador is much more than ‘fun.’ It’s a chance to make a difference, to solve a global crisis. It’s a chance to learn, to experience new ways of life. Immersing yourself in a culture unlike your own is the fastest path I know to growth. Absorbing the customs and traditions of another country is enough personal and professional incentive for me to want to go.
The exchange goes both ways. I don’t want to take a country’s knowledge and entertainment without giving something in return. I am blessed (and cursed) with a lot of energy. The Foundation for Ecological Security and Nyumbani village would be great places for me to pool my stamina.
It'd be delusional to think that I know much. I am, after all, a sophomore- “wise fool.” College and practical experience have provided me with a sturdy template for ambassadorship. Working on roofs, organic farms, and eco-villages in this country and Canada has made me familiar with rough living. Being the outreach coordinator for the Women’s Resource Center taught me about effective communication. Combine that with ample energy and sincere wish to help others, and you have me.
Satisfaction didn't turn me into a slacker. Ironically, not having to achieve my goals makes me more likely to succeed. Happiness pushes me much further than pressure. I am confident that I will excel in whatever I do, but if I don’t, I’ll forgive myself, and try again. I humbly wish, but do no not need, you to consider me as a GEM ambassador. Thank you, and namaste.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Samhain: The History of Halloween
It’s that time of year again. The wind is getting colder. The leaves are turning red. In just a couple of weeks, kids will be embalming themselves with candy. The History Channel reports that 92% of children in America participate in this sugar binging every year. Halloween is our country’s 2nd largest holiday, earning businesses 6.9 billion dollars annually. How did this strange tradition start, anyway? As it turns out, Halloween isn’t just one of the most lucrative celebrations; it’s also one of the oldest.
Over two-thousand years ago, Celts living in Ireland, the United Kingdom, and Northern France divided the year into four quarters: Yule, Ostara, Litha, and Mabon. In the middle of these quarters were four more cross quarters: Imblog, Beltane, Lammas, and Samhain. Samhain, which means summer’s end, marked the end of the year. The days grew colder and darker, just like they are now. It was at this time that the veil between the spirit and physical world was at its thinnest. Celts wore masks to hide from the dead, repelling ghosts with frightening costumes. They left offerings of food on their doorstop, so evil spirits wouldn’t come inside.
Ghosts weren’t all bad, though. Some caused mayhem and destruction, but they also helped the Druids, or Celtic priests, predict the future. This was crucial around Samhain, because people needed to know how much livestock to slaughter. If they had too many, there wouldn’t be enough grass or feed for the winter, but if they had too little, they wouldn’t have enough meat. It was the hardest time of the year. Joyce and River Higginbotham describe in their book Paganism how Celts were encouraged to confront their fears in the autumn, and let go. Bonfires burned to ward off the winter, and people honored their ancestors through celebration.
Things staid pretty much the same until the Romans invaded in 43 AD. Even then, Samhain lived on. The conquerors combined the Pagan’s holiday with two of their own: Feralia and Pomona. Feralia, like Samhain, commemorated the passing of the dead, and just so happened to occur in the fall. Pomona was a holiday meant to honor the Goddess of fruit and trees. Her signature plant was the apple, which is why we bob for them even now.
Samhain survived the Romans, but the real test had yet to come. In 800 AD, Christianity was at its peak of power. The church used dates of Pagan holidays like Imblog and Winter’s Solstice to make converting the masses easier, turning them into St. Brigid’s day and Christmas. Pope Boniface IV sanctioned November 1 as All Hallows day to honor saints and draw people away from Samhain, but couldn’t get them to stop partying it up the day before. As a compromise, he adopted the holiday, and turned into All Hallows Eve. In 1000 AD the church created All Souls Day on November 2 to honor the dead.
To this day Halloween is immensely popular. Spain, Mexico, and Latin America, which are heavily Catholic, celebrate El Dias de los Muertos, or The Day of the Dead. It’s a colorful three day event, when the living burn incense and leave candy on gravestones to entice the nonliving back to earth. England, with its high percentage of Protestants, doesn’t celebrate All Hallows because they don’t believe in saints. They do, however, have a strikingly similar holiday on November 5 called Ethan Fawkes day. In 1606, this Catholic was executed for trying to blow up the Parliament Building. He’s still celebrated, or rather un-celebrated, with what the English call bone fires. You might also recognize him as the inspiration for the comic book and movie V for Vendetta.
Puritan pilgrims settling in America weren’t interested in the flagrant fun of All Hallows, and left the entertainment to the Europeans. It wasn’t until Irish fled from the potato famine in the early 1900’s that Halloween became really celebrated here. They told ghost stories, danced, and did a lot of pranks on the community. Young women believed that the opening of the spirit and physical veil could help them divine the name of their future husbands. Things got a little too wild though, and local governments gradually turned the holiday into a family event. Giving out candy was a way to treat youngsters and (hypothetically) prevent pranks, or tricks. This probably dates back to All Soul’s Day in Europe, when poor citizens would beg for pastries called soul cakes in exchange for praying for the giver’s dead relatives.
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. You don't have to worry about facing your family, (am I the only one who stresses about Thanksgiving?) or being a loser without a partner, (Valentine's Day should be abolished.) After learning how it survived not just one, but two foreign invasions, I like it even more. I hope you all have a great Samhain. Be careful, though. Ringing bells keep spirits away. If you want to meet a witch, turn your clothes inside out and walk backwards. Or call me, and I’ll give you a few numbers.
Over two-thousand years ago, Celts living in Ireland, the United Kingdom, and Northern France divided the year into four quarters: Yule, Ostara, Litha, and Mabon. In the middle of these quarters were four more cross quarters: Imblog, Beltane, Lammas, and Samhain. Samhain, which means summer’s end, marked the end of the year. The days grew colder and darker, just like they are now. It was at this time that the veil between the spirit and physical world was at its thinnest. Celts wore masks to hide from the dead, repelling ghosts with frightening costumes. They left offerings of food on their doorstop, so evil spirits wouldn’t come inside.
Ghosts weren’t all bad, though. Some caused mayhem and destruction, but they also helped the Druids, or Celtic priests, predict the future. This was crucial around Samhain, because people needed to know how much livestock to slaughter. If they had too many, there wouldn’t be enough grass or feed for the winter, but if they had too little, they wouldn’t have enough meat. It was the hardest time of the year. Joyce and River Higginbotham describe in their book Paganism how Celts were encouraged to confront their fears in the autumn, and let go. Bonfires burned to ward off the winter, and people honored their ancestors through celebration.
Things staid pretty much the same until the Romans invaded in 43 AD. Even then, Samhain lived on. The conquerors combined the Pagan’s holiday with two of their own: Feralia and Pomona. Feralia, like Samhain, commemorated the passing of the dead, and just so happened to occur in the fall. Pomona was a holiday meant to honor the Goddess of fruit and trees. Her signature plant was the apple, which is why we bob for them even now.
Samhain survived the Romans, but the real test had yet to come. In 800 AD, Christianity was at its peak of power. The church used dates of Pagan holidays like Imblog and Winter’s Solstice to make converting the masses easier, turning them into St. Brigid’s day and Christmas. Pope Boniface IV sanctioned November 1 as All Hallows day to honor saints and draw people away from Samhain, but couldn’t get them to stop partying it up the day before. As a compromise, he adopted the holiday, and turned into All Hallows Eve. In 1000 AD the church created All Souls Day on November 2 to honor the dead.
To this day Halloween is immensely popular. Spain, Mexico, and Latin America, which are heavily Catholic, celebrate El Dias de los Muertos, or The Day of the Dead. It’s a colorful three day event, when the living burn incense and leave candy on gravestones to entice the nonliving back to earth. England, with its high percentage of Protestants, doesn’t celebrate All Hallows because they don’t believe in saints. They do, however, have a strikingly similar holiday on November 5 called Ethan Fawkes day. In 1606, this Catholic was executed for trying to blow up the Parliament Building. He’s still celebrated, or rather un-celebrated, with what the English call bone fires. You might also recognize him as the inspiration for the comic book and movie V for Vendetta.
Puritan pilgrims settling in America weren’t interested in the flagrant fun of All Hallows, and left the entertainment to the Europeans. It wasn’t until Irish fled from the potato famine in the early 1900’s that Halloween became really celebrated here. They told ghost stories, danced, and did a lot of pranks on the community. Young women believed that the opening of the spirit and physical veil could help them divine the name of their future husbands. Things got a little too wild though, and local governments gradually turned the holiday into a family event. Giving out candy was a way to treat youngsters and (hypothetically) prevent pranks, or tricks. This probably dates back to All Soul’s Day in Europe, when poor citizens would beg for pastries called soul cakes in exchange for praying for the giver’s dead relatives.
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. You don't have to worry about facing your family, (am I the only one who stresses about Thanksgiving?) or being a loser without a partner, (Valentine's Day should be abolished.) After learning how it survived not just one, but two foreign invasions, I like it even more. I hope you all have a great Samhain. Be careful, though. Ringing bells keep spirits away. If you want to meet a witch, turn your clothes inside out and walk backwards. Or call me, and I’ll give you a few numbers.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Edward Cullen
Should I be ashamed about lusting over a seventeen-year old vampire? Probably. But that doesn’t stop my ridiculous crush on Stephanie Meyer’s character Edward Cullen. I’ve never been into romance novels, (I swear!) but the Twilight series make me swoon like a Mary Sue. If you have to ask why, you clearly haven’t read them. Edward is every girl's secret desire. He’s a bad boy- you can’t get much tougher than sucking blood- but also a gentleman. Sadly, the early 20th century male is more desirous than our present day gamers. Edward hums Bella lullabies, saves her life repeatedly, gives kisses that make humans faint… even a self-proclaimed asexual like myself can’t help but go gagas over him. The writing is mediocre, the plot absurd, and yet I find myself vainly trying, (and failing,) to put it down. There’s no use denying it; I’m hopelessly smitten.
Why the hell am I writing a blog?
I’m not enlightened enough to be a spiritual teacher. I’m afraid of politics, and spend as little time as possible worrying about it. I care about the environment, but realize that another ‘Save the World’ site isn’t going to change anything. So why the hell am I writing a blog? I don’t have anything that profound to say. Nothing I know isn’t already understood by the average person. The great thing about being a human being though, is that no matter how average you are, you still have a lesson to teach. I truly believe that everyone knows something vital that can be passed on to another next person. Even me.
So there. :)
So there. :)
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